Monday, July 5, 2010

Lesson 2: Friendship

Last week in church our guest speaker told a story from when he and his family were serving in Tanzania. His wife borrowed an egg from a neighbor. A few days later, she sent her African house worker to repay the neighbor for the egg. The African said "No, because then you're saying you don't want to be her friend; you don't want to be indebted to her."

Something we learned at orientation is that Kenyans will ask you for the clothes off your back if you seem to have enough and they don't. It's not because they're rude - trust me, they're all but - it's just that they understand sharing. For the most part, their mindset is to share what they have with those who need.

In college my roommates and I had our own cabinets. We had our own food and it was clear who's it was. Now I'm sure none of us would've bit each others' head off if we took someone's goldfish, but our mindset (well, mine at least) was "I had to buy this with the money I earned/was given by my parents... I don't have an endless supply, so I can't just go around sharing what I do have." I'm almost sure that the cabinet idea was mine.. if not, I'm sure I was strongly for the idea. I tend to have a very strong sense of "what's mine is mine, and if I borrow something from you I'm paying it back because I don't want to feel like I needed you or am indebted to you." It sounds cold, and not that I was a heartless, selfish person... but maybe at least selfish.

This culture is very different from the only other culture I've ever known. There are things I love here more and things I love in America more. This is one of the things I've loved; I've loved learning to be more welcoming, more patient, more giving, more willing to let my kids ransack my kitchen, and understanding that to lay down one's life for a friend also means putting my selfishness behind me and giving them stuff if that's what they need.

Last week after school I was looking forward to nothing more than going home and taking a nap on my couch; it had been a VERY long day. About 3 minutes after walking in the door, a group of my 8th graders came and took over my house. My instant reaction was disappointment. But within minutes I realized napping's lame, and hanging out with awesome students is a way better option. Sacrificing our time, our naps, our food, our money, our clothes, our car, our particular way of doing things is hard, but it's almost always worth it when it builds up relationships with those God has put us around.Students cooking in my kitchen... strangely enough, this is going to be one of the things I miss the most: kids stopping by to get candy, cook food, jump off my roof, have spontaneous parties, etc...

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